Pizza And Old Doors

Do people have a limited supply of affection? If so, should they waste it loving pizza, old doors and other inanimate objects that can't love them back? What if a bachelor loved pizza so much that when his destined bride showed up, he didn't have sense enough to push the parmesan aside and marry her? If destiny were real, bloodlines would be lost, the vaccine for warts never discovered.

If objects could love you, they would jump off the store shelves into your pocket, socks would stick with their mates and bicycle tires would patch themselves. Objects are no more capable of reason than cobblestones, avocado pits or Karl Rove. It's just stuff! It doesn't hover around us like Neptune's ring. It's just piles of dross that fade or bury us if we let it.